Thoughts - What am I doing?

The enormity of what lies ahead is really starting to hit me. And there are so many layers...

We are going half way around the world, leaving the rest of our family behind. Will they be okay? I think a piece of my heart will be missing the entire time we are gone. What will 28 days be like without seeing Mark, Anna and Scott? And how will they feel? What will Scott and Anna feel? How will they think of me as a mother - to leave them for so long?

We have talked a lot about it and my head says they will be fine. But my heart.....

They are looking at this as a challenge. They have their jobs/extra jobs and are ready. Maybe they will be more independent when I get back? Maybe in their own way, they will grow as we will grow while we are away.

And Mark - I know it will be tough on him. I am so thankful that he's willing and able to let me go and do these kind of trips. Really - it's a lot to ask of him. But on the other hand, it's a good thing for him to see the home front without me. But a week or 10 days is one thing....4 is an entirely different ballgame!

I am so fortunate. Not every husband would be so understanding and supportive.

But then I aslo think about us being so far away. Sometimes I have these fleeting moments that I must be really crazy! I have a knack for coming up with crazy ideas and making them happen....and along the way....questioning myself. Am I doing the right thing? In the grand scheme of life, I know I am. But sorting all the nitty gritty in life and in my thoughts sometimes makes me wonder.

I want to see the world. I want to experience the world. And most importantly I want my children to see and experience the world. Just not the way that one would think......

Being a tourist in a country is one thing - but living there and being a part of a community is entirely different.

In the summer of 1987 before my senior year in High School I went to Cyrpus with an organization called Earthwatch. When I left I was 17.

I flew to Athens, spent a couple nights there and then took a plane to Larnaca. When I was in line checking in in Athens, I saw two of my friends from NYC that I had known for years. They were on their way to Cyprus to be volunteer archaeologists.

So was I.

The rest is history!

We were on a dig from the Bronze Age and the artifacts that we excavated can be found today in the National Museum in Nicosia. And the site, near a small town called Kalavasos, no longer exists. Today, there is a huge highway that runs right through it. We lived in the town schoolhouse because it was summer break and were treated like celebrities in the town - even guests of honor at a wedding. When I think back, I was 17 - what we did - imagine if I hadn't met up with Frances and Melissa? I spent my 18th birthday there. We met three young (but older than us) Cypriots who made us dinner at their parents' apartment and then we went out to the discos....when I think of what I did - I just can't imagine that happening in today's world...and all without email or cell phones.

And then in the summer of 1987 I went to Zimbabwe. Again, I was a volunteer. But this time I was working with Dr. Prisca Nemapare, a Zimbabwean who was educated in the US. She was amazing. I will never forget her (note to self: google Prisca & see if she's on facebook). She was conducting a study on health and nutrition for women and young children. We went around to health care centers around the country meeting and assessing women - those who were of child bearing age - who had a child 2 or under or were pregnant.

My job was to interview the women, with the help of my interpreter, Tendai. The questionnaire was about 15 pages and asked all sorts of questions - about their husbands, their food, if they had an extra $ (equivalent) what would they spend it on - (A coke was the overwhelming response) etc. We traveled around to some pretty remote places. At one point there was a huge sign on the side of the road near the South African border that said we were entering Malaria Country. In some of the areas there was no iodine in the soil and many women suffered from huge goiters. In other areas, the soil lacked vitamin A and their eyes were so damaged. I remember Prisca calling it Bitot's disease - but perhaps my memory is flawed. At one health center a woman didn't quite make it into the health center and gave birth right in the 'courtyard'.

That was an eye opener.

But as I look back - after having 3 children - she gave birth so gracefully. During all my months of being pregnant, I thought of her often.

Anyway, I am way off topic here.... (typical!).

Back to my thoughts on what lies ahead. I am sure our trip will be amazing, life changing and I hope one that will inspire not only Jack and myself but also all those we reach through our family, school, town and beyond.

And yes, I am a little nervous too....especially about getting there. But as we get closer to our departure, for some reason I am actually feeling better and better about it.

Who knows? Maybe tomorrow will bring a whole new host of thoughts and feelings!

p.s. I just googled Prisca and this is what I found - and then this link - pretty cool - I'm going to get in touch with her!